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Belle Gunness

 

Belle Gunness

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Belle Gunness

Dear Miss Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you 'til you're dead

18-years-old, knocked-up, and angry
She asked the father for his help
Instead, he kicked her in the stomach
Two days later he was found in a well

Dear Miss Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you 'til you're dead

She packed her bags, moved to Chicago
Wed a entrepreneur with four kids or more
She then took out the biggest policy
On the kids and the candy store
When a fire ate the candy store, and then

A host of tragedy befell them
Acute Colitis for the kids
An enlarged heart for her now-dead husband
And a quarter million for Miss Gunness

Dear Miss Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you 'til you're dead

Should the neighbors get suspicious
Move to the country and buy a farm
Find yourself another husband
Have two more kids you can slap some insurance on

Dear Miss Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you 'til you're dead
Deeeeeea dea dea dea dea dea
Dea dea dea dea dea dea dead!
Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead deeeeeaad

You might have guessed, again she's widowed
And getting lonely on the farm
She ran an ad in a large newspaper
And it worked like a charm, worked like a charm

It read: "Comely widow who owns a large farm in
One of the finest districts in LaPorte County, Indiana, 
Desires to make the acquaintance of a gentleman
Equally well-provided, with view of joining fortunes. 
No replies by letter considered unless sender is willing
To follow answer with personal visit.
Triflers need not apply." 

One by one, here come the suitors
With little fortunes for her bank
I don't think anyone has seen them
Except for the pigs in the yard
You know that they'll eat anything

Dear Miss Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you 'til you're dead
Dear Miss  Belle Gunness
Has a price on everyone's head
Bring her any wealth at all
She'll love you
She'll love you
'Til you're dead


Download the full album on Bandcamp